I bet you have a favorite watch.
Maybe also a favorite clock!
Do you still have it, or is it one you had as a child?
Mine was the grandfather’s clock we had in our living room when I was growing up.
It was tall, made of smooth brown wood, had a latch key, and made the best dongs ever!
Remember how we used to stare at the classroom clock?
We couldn’t wait for it to hit 3 so we could run outside and play.
We all still look at the clock a lot.
But a clock can only tell us what time it is on a very superficial level.
3:15 just says we are halfway to dinner.
Insight about time can make us stronger
But if we ask ourselves what time is it on more meaningful levels
we gain insight that makes us stronger.
Our awareness can make us more capable of fully living.
So, how does knowing what time it is give us insight?
Here are three ways:
—We see when immediate action is required.
—We deal with the passage of time in our relationships.
—We focus on the particular time of life we are in.
So—without looking at the clock—let’s see if we can figure out what time it is!
Are you game?
Let’s DO this!
I learned while doing psychotherapy that there are moments of opportunity.
After long periods with little apparent progress, an opening suddenly occurs!
The person lets down their defenses and lets me in.
The question is:
Will I see this moment in time? Will I immediately move in and connect?
Or will I only realize later that I missed my chance?
Ah, this is how life IS, I learned. Sometimes we only get one shot.
We can see when immediate action is required.
But how do we learn to see, decide well, and move fast?
It takes determination. And going through trial and error.
The goal is to get to the point where you can count on yourself.
You do this by proving to yourself, over and over, that you can rapidly assess a situation
and make a fast and wise decision.
To practice, choose an area where you face many “low-stake” decisions (i.e., if you get
them wrong it’s no big deal.) An area where you take way too long to make decisions.
For example: Travel–what driving routes to take, what places to visit, etc. Social–who
to invite over for a BBQ, which persons to talk with at a party, etc. Entertainment–what
movies to watch, what music to buy, etc. Whatever area you are real slow in!
Tell yourself in each circumstance: Make a fast and wise decision!
Evaluate afterwards. You will get better at this. It is a highly valuable
capability.
We deal with the passage of time in our relationships.
Time is precious, and time is passing.
We need to be aware that our older family members may not be with us much longer.
Our awareness means we will spend time with them!
Ask them to tell us their stories, share ours with them,
learn all we can from them while they are still with us.
Indeed, we need to remain aware of the passage of time in all our relationships.
Each one of us is (as Dylan said) either busy being born or busy dying.
When we are busy being born, the passage of time becomes a journey of discovery.
Growth in ourselves allows us to nurture new life in all our relationships.
We focus on the particular time of life we are in.
Each of us is in a particular time right now.
Knowing what time it is means we recognize the primary challenge we are facing.
We then can bring our best self forward to focus on it.
So…what time is it for you right now?
For me, it is time to write.
Time to offer the best ideas I can to you.
Time to be your ally in building a strong and free life.
That is why I am here, writing to you today.
For you, it may be time to establish your independence in some area.
Or overcome a major problem.
Or decide your educational/vocational path.
Or build your relationships.
Only you know what time it is in your life.
Just know that I’m with you as you seek awareness of this time,
and as you seek to make the most of it.
Be true to yourself, and give it all the love you have.
QUESTION:
What matters most to you right now?
I would love to hear.
Write me!
Dr. Hall