We all know the feeling of “things just aren’t right anymore”
in one of our friendships, or in our love relationship.
Somehow the color has faded.
It isn’t quite as joyful when we laugh.
Being together isn’t quite as fun as it used to be.
We know we’re with a good person.
We know we’ve built a good foundation for our relationship.
But we have to admit…we’re getting just a little bored.
Should we bring this up?
Shall we tell them we’re bored?
Shall we launch into a big discussion?
Uh, NO.
They have probably already guessed.
AND are probably feeling the same. 🙂
Actually, this situation is no big deal.
Almost every friendship or relationship will experience it.
A little wilting of our relationship may feel like a setback,
but it’s really just a setup for a comeback.
As long as we know how to revive it!
In most cases all it takes are a few creative actions.
Are you with me?
Let’s DO this!
Think back to the beginning
The first thing to do is think back to the early days
of your friendship or relationship.
Take the time to recall and savor your favorite memories of this time.
Make a happy list of all the activities you did together.
Maybe you went for walks or hikes together.
Went bike riding or out on a boat.
Had long talks over coffee.
Went to the movies, went dancing, went to concerts.
Sang silly songs together.
Searched for little stones on the beach.
Whatever you did, big or small, that would light you both up!
Now comes the question
OK. You have remembered all your favorite times together.
Now ask yourself: How many of those things are we still doing?
I am betting your answer is: …Uh…not many.
The beautiful news is:
You can revive your wilting relationship
just by starting to do those things again.
Don’t take my word for it.
Take the word of the person who thought up the idea: Mort Fertel.
Fertel is a relationship therapist. One of the best in the business.
He has found that many problems, including boredom and worse,
simply dissolve when people resume doing the things
that brought them together in the first place.
Go ahead, take the first step
Simple? Yes.
No big discussions needed.
All you need to do is initiate
with a generous heart
an activity your friend or partner used to love to DO with you.
After you enjoy that activity together,
ask them to initiate the next one.
It could be something fun or meaningful you did before
or it could be something brand new!
Either way,
the two of you are saying bye bye to boredom.
Creativity is upon you!
You are reconnected and revived,
and your relationship feels fresh as a daisy!
QUESTION:
Give this idea a go in any of your relationships—friend, family, partner.
Then tell me what happens in my brand new Comment section below!
Dr. Hall