where a man can build his strength and freedom

Why I still love both my former husbands

Two open hands demonstrate that we can still love former husbands.

Unusual, isn’t it–
to still love one’s former husbands.
Heck, it’s downright unheard of!

Each left after twenty years,
for their own reasons.
It was devastating.
I’m supposed to despise them, aren’t I?
Well, I never have,
and never will.
I love them both deeply.


Why would I still love
two men who broke my heart?
Because I keep my vows.

I promised to love them
for better, for worse
for richer, for poorer
in sickness and in health
until death do us part.
I will love and honor you
all the days of my life.

I made that vow to God.
I keep my promises to God.
And you know what?
He keeps His promises to me.

He says in Scripture:
I came that they might have life,
and have it abundantly.
And I do.
I truly do.

What I cherish

What I cherish from each of my former husbands
is the life they gave to me
and to our children.
How hard they worked
for so many years for us.
I am deeply grateful.

My first husband, who I married at 19,
wrote me a poem
that remains my own personal national anthem.

My second husband convinced me
I’m the most beautiful woman in the world
and told me:
Deborah, words give courage.
Words give strength.
Give your words to the world.

They both gave me the best they had inside them,
and they gave it for as long as they could.

One decided he wanted a different path.
The other knew he should set me free,
and had the courage to do so.

I could not make them stay,
just as LeeAnn Womack
sings to Willie Nelson
in Mendocino County Line.

But I still have all the love they gave me.
It has blessed me ever since.
Thus my heart was full
not empty
as I searched for and found
the great man who picked up their torch
and married me last July.

I wasn’t desperately
seeking someone to fill an empty heart.
I was overflowing with love.
I was looking for the fine man
who would value me
and want the adventure
of creating a brand new life together!

Thanks to God, I found him.
And he found me.
And we’ve been going strong for nine years now.

Nothing is ever lost
to the generous of spirit.
So let us be generous
in how we remember our former sweethearts.
And in how we speak of them.

Why is it important to speak well of our previous partner?